I’ve grown to really like my co-workers. And when you see the same people so often you learn things about each other, so obviously they all know that I have diabetes, and most know about my memory loss. In fact, I think my boss may have had an in-service type meeting with all of them to tell them to keep an eye on me.
I appreciate the concern, I sincerely do. They let me know when I look pale or especially red in the face. Most of the time though it’s because the conditions we work in are very hot. It’s a kitchen, and not only is there something constantly cooking, but the dish machine emits a lot of heat as well.
Sometimes I do need to stop and have some juice or eat something. But it feels like I’m being babysat when they make me stop and list everything I’ve eaten in a day. My medication limits my appetite, but I know when I have to eat whether I’m hungry or not. It’s nice to have people caring about my well-being. I just wish people would understand that I can (and I will) take care of myself. The constant checking up on me isn’t so much annoying as it is insulting. They don’t mean it that way, but it makes me feel like a child; it’s demeaning.
I can’t see myself so I don’t know when my appearance changes drastically or suddenly. I get that. I would be concerned too. I’m not in any way blaming my co-workers, because I would be concerned if I saw changes in them too. It’s just a circumstantial thing that, simply put, sucks.
Is there a way to show concern differently? I’m not even sure there is. And how could they trust me to know my own health? They barely know me medically, even with as much time I spend there. I haven’t exactly written up a full report on my medical history.
This is just something I’ll have to deal with as I spend time with new people. And I’ll say it again, I appreciate their concern so much. I just don’t want to feel like other people think they’re responsible for me. Not only does it feel like I’m always being watched, but I feel almost a little guilty that they think they need to babysit me in a sense.
Like nausea or extreme thirst, this is just a side effect of being a melting pot of medical abnormalities. Every reaction is only human, including mine. I know I owe a huge thank you to all of the people who have expressed concern. And I’ll fully acknowledge that later. But in the moment, being frustrated comes much easier.